Saturday, March 27, 2004
Distance
Now that the space race is over, I can't help but feel that we've all grown up too soon.
Billy Bragg
The longer I live in London, the more I am dreading returning to Ireland/Dublin. I love my country immensely, as I do my city but the distance between my life there and here is affecting how my return will be. Dublin is a changing city. Not for the better I hasten to add. On Dublin, an Irish - American friend of mine said that the no smoking ban would only serve to invigorate the stench of West Coast US culture seeping through the people of the city. It would seem that Dubliners have emptied themselves of the very virtues that made them the great people that they were. There’s a fake ness underneath the people now. A shallowness aided by a shift in high moral values. I felt at Christmas that the laid back atmosphere of the Capital was been infiltrated by a stuffy vibe. people have lost something....or maybe thats my circle....or maybe its me………………but things change. London in that regard is no different. It’s just that it’s perhaps less vocal. Then again Dublin is a split city. The North of the Liffey is more honest then it’s neighbour.
But distance impacts itself in many ways. It amazes me. It seems the closer you are to something or someone, the greater the damage inflicted by distance. I’ve seen it before of course. Most of my school friends I spent 24 hours with over a 5 year period. Now, with exceptions, many of them are awkward moments in the pub. That feeling of not knowing what to say and then spending the rest of the night refraining from glancing their eyes. You both realise that you don’t really know each other anymore. You were too close that you never prepared for the impact of distance.
With those that you are used to meeting occasionally you will find that distance has little or no impact. Many of my University friends, or newspaper friends, I am used to meeting occasionally, having a laugh and then not contacting till we meet again. Nothing can destroy that relationship, that friendship because both parties are comfortable with distance. Both are used to it. Any change is easily understood. Perhaps that’s why we have such great times together
With those closer though the whirlwind of change, which is inevitable with time, is harder to deal with. I think, with distance, you never again know those you were close too. That person you knew is gone. Evaporated with time. It’s like a long term relationship. After the break-up, you can never go back. It won’t be the same no matter what is said or done. It will always be that bit uncomfortable and the shoes won’t fit as they once did. It’s nobody’s fault and it’s certainly not there’s. They still remain the great, fantastic, unbelievable person they always were and will continue to be. It’s just that both parties have moved in a way that the pieces don’t fit anymore. It’s natural, it’s understandable.
So what’s the trick? What do you have to do? It’s simple. You got to make a decision. Do you want to return to your old life, ignore the time passing? Water under the bridge and just get on with things gradually moving…moving…moving away emotionally. Placing your thrust and your soul to another single partner, to blood relations. By-passing the people you once confided in but externally carrying on as normal.
Or
You conclude things before the mess. You don’t go back, and if you do, you remove yourself. You begin the cycle again. Just as you effectively waved goodbye to your school friends, that part of your life, you too do so with this bunch. Sure you’ll drop in now and again and enjoy the company, catch up on all the shit that doesn’t really matter, and have a “nice time”. Play happy families or happy old friends in this case.
In fact I think you do both unconsciously.
I guess it’s time to move the goalposts. The photographs are all that’s left of everything we’ve done. Goodbye past.
Now that the space race is over, I can't help but feel that we've all grown up too soon.
Billy Bragg
The longer I live in London, the more I am dreading returning to Ireland/Dublin. I love my country immensely, as I do my city but the distance between my life there and here is affecting how my return will be. Dublin is a changing city. Not for the better I hasten to add. On Dublin, an Irish - American friend of mine said that the no smoking ban would only serve to invigorate the stench of West Coast US culture seeping through the people of the city. It would seem that Dubliners have emptied themselves of the very virtues that made them the great people that they were. There’s a fake ness underneath the people now. A shallowness aided by a shift in high moral values. I felt at Christmas that the laid back atmosphere of the Capital was been infiltrated by a stuffy vibe. people have lost something....or maybe thats my circle....or maybe its me………………but things change. London in that regard is no different. It’s just that it’s perhaps less vocal. Then again Dublin is a split city. The North of the Liffey is more honest then it’s neighbour.
But distance impacts itself in many ways. It amazes me. It seems the closer you are to something or someone, the greater the damage inflicted by distance. I’ve seen it before of course. Most of my school friends I spent 24 hours with over a 5 year period. Now, with exceptions, many of them are awkward moments in the pub. That feeling of not knowing what to say and then spending the rest of the night refraining from glancing their eyes. You both realise that you don’t really know each other anymore. You were too close that you never prepared for the impact of distance.
With those that you are used to meeting occasionally you will find that distance has little or no impact. Many of my University friends, or newspaper friends, I am used to meeting occasionally, having a laugh and then not contacting till we meet again. Nothing can destroy that relationship, that friendship because both parties are comfortable with distance. Both are used to it. Any change is easily understood. Perhaps that’s why we have such great times together
With those closer though the whirlwind of change, which is inevitable with time, is harder to deal with. I think, with distance, you never again know those you were close too. That person you knew is gone. Evaporated with time. It’s like a long term relationship. After the break-up, you can never go back. It won’t be the same no matter what is said or done. It will always be that bit uncomfortable and the shoes won’t fit as they once did. It’s nobody’s fault and it’s certainly not there’s. They still remain the great, fantastic, unbelievable person they always were and will continue to be. It’s just that both parties have moved in a way that the pieces don’t fit anymore. It’s natural, it’s understandable.
So what’s the trick? What do you have to do? It’s simple. You got to make a decision. Do you want to return to your old life, ignore the time passing? Water under the bridge and just get on with things gradually moving…moving…moving away emotionally. Placing your thrust and your soul to another single partner, to blood relations. By-passing the people you once confided in but externally carrying on as normal.
Or
You conclude things before the mess. You don’t go back, and if you do, you remove yourself. You begin the cycle again. Just as you effectively waved goodbye to your school friends, that part of your life, you too do so with this bunch. Sure you’ll drop in now and again and enjoy the company, catch up on all the shit that doesn’t really matter, and have a “nice time”. Play happy families or happy old friends in this case.
In fact I think you do both unconsciously.
I guess it’s time to move the goalposts. The photographs are all that’s left of everything we’ve done. Goodbye past.
