jellylegs

So I now sit with a bottle of jameson in one hand and a big long stick I found in the back of the airing press. It's thick and slightly longer then a mop handle. I've boarded up the, well sort of covered, the heater for I think the mouse/mice/ rat (see below) are living. Its located where a fire place used to me and it's my prime suspect for a nesting area. The little cunt faced bastard taunted me again last night and this morn. I saw him yesterday only for him to cowardly run for cover. FACE YOUR DESTINY YOU MOTHERFUCKER. Sorry. Well last night he lifted the cheeze without setting off the trap and did the same again this morning. I've now opted for mars bar as my bait because its sticky and hopefully he won't be able to lift that as easily. I called the estate agent/land lord type people and there going to get on to my mystery landlord and get him to ordr in rentokill. Well the councils version of rentokill anyhow. I just hope they come before I do something stupid! I feel like taht guy, oh whats his name... Richard I think. I feel like Richard the main character in The Beach.
Oh with regards the rat thing, I got a great email from Amy that was meant to reassure me abit but this segment made me laugh uncontrollably. It inevitably made me more paranoid but I like it. "The rodent thing sounds shit - I hope you've sorted it out. By the way, a rat can fit anywhere a mouse can, not trying to freak you out or anything, just letting you know."
Its like a doctor saying "you could die from this, not trying to freak you out but you should know" Classic stuff and it cheered me up while lifting me to new unforseen heights of paranoia
Well anyhow, between me and the whiskey, and the battering pole I shall attack the vermin with, one of us will be knocked out shortly!
So later folks. I predict a 2-0 win for Villa tonight (live on sky sports 2). Angel to score both.
Till next time